Dutchy_in_Mexico

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My First Blog Post

Monterrey

Dear reader,

I’m writing this post as I just came back from Monterrey, a city in the north of Mexico. Though it is not generally considered a tourist destination (when I said that I was going to Monterrey to people in my current ‘home town’ Guadalajara, this statement was met with surprise, some even claimed “no one goes to Monterrey for fun” and my Lonely planet dedicates exactly half a page to this –third largest- city in Mexico), I have seen some amazing and beautiful places. The city is surrounded by mountains and the surroundings are surprisingly green (considering the fact that the heat in summer is almost literally killing, as a frequent visitor of southern Spain, where the temperature does not shy away from surpassing 40 °c, I feel like I have the right to make such bold statements).

As soon as I figure out how to attach photos to posts I might add a few to give you an idea of the beauty of this region, but be careful: when I say a few I actually mean a sh*tload, since choosing is definitely not my strong suit and I have seen many beautiful places which I like to share with y’all.

But beautiful as the region was, the beauty of Mexico is even more present in the people who live there.

Time for a little background story-diversion: I did not go to Monterrey because everyone told me that was the place to be, nor because I was so moved by the Lonely Planet’s 5 sentences dedicated to this place (without pictures, so that obviously did not peak my interest). No, I went because one year ago I met someone from Monterrey in Madrid one evening and we instantly became friends and have stayed in touch ever since. This güey was my first introduction to Mexican spontaneity, humour and hospitality, as he invited me to his home in Mexico and to meet his family the first night we met. Being a Dutch person who has never left Europe, who did not assume she would go to Mexico anytime soon, and who is not used to go to the other side of the world to hang around at the home of a person she had seen one night and his family, I did not expect to take him up on his offer, but here we are a year later…

We have stayed in touch ever since that night, sending messages back and forth and video-calling occasionally and a few months ago I decided that if I ever wanted to live in a country on the other side of the Atlantic, now is the time, so I applied to study in Guadalajara, Mexico for one semester. Naturally, the only Mexican person I knew was one of the first ones to know of my plans (unfortunately, he did not take me seriously the first few months, but hey, at long last, when I sent him a picture of the plane tickets I booked, he actually did believe me). I went to Mexico a month before the semester would start so that I had some time to find a nice box to live in (I actually found a really nice one, but more on that later, maybe), to have some time to get used to life in Mexico, but also to have some time to visit this particular güey before school would start. And so I looked for a flight, made him nervous by sending a picture of this flight before booking it, and went north.

It was in his home that I experienced the true meaning of Mexican hospitality, I was instantly treated as a member of the family, called daughter, and was treated to a boat ride along el Parque Funidora with the whole family.

The rest of the week they made sure I had enough to eat, that I wouldn’t get bored, that I would see as many beautiful places as possible, and most importantly, that I felt happy and at home.

And after a week of feeling a tiny bit of (Dutch) vergüenza for suddenly bursting into the lives of these lovely people I barely knew, they convinced me that this is what Mexican hospitality is like: always being open to receiving ‘strangers’ into their home, sharing everything with them and making them feel as at home as is humanly possible. When I departed they all came to say goodbye, gave me some beautiful parting gifts (even the youngest member of the family, a 6 year old boy, did not want to let me go home empty-handed, so he gifted me a cup of Play-Doh and, because that was apparently not enough, a can of potato crisps) hugged me as if we had known each other for years in the Netherlands (as you may have guessed, the Dutch are kind of cold and distanced in comparison to the everyday-Mexican, for example when it comes to physical contact like hugs) and invited me to the 20 earliest upcoming family-events (I may be exaggerating a bit, most Mexicans I have met do not really plan that far ahead), while at the same time making sure I was always welcome in their home, whether there was a family event or not.

And so I decided to create a blog to share my experiences with you guys, because unfortunately, in my country Mexico is mostly known for drug cartels and violence, while all the beautiful sides of this amazing country are rarely discussed, even though it has so much to offer, especially when it comes to the hospitality and general warmth of its people.

A note on Havana

Dear reader,

I’m sorry to have been offline for a while, believe it or not, I have been busy. But now my semester has ended and I have a lot of free time, so perhaps I’ll keep this blog alive from now on. (Note: I wrote this part at the start of December, so I guess the answer is no.)

If you are wondering why there is a post about Cuba in a blog called ‘Dutchy in Mexico’, well I do not have all the answers for you. (Read: I felt like it and it’s my blog, so I can write whatever I want.) I will end by reflecting on Mexico though, so in my mind it almost makes sense.

Anyways, as you may or may not know, in December I have been to Cuba, and it was… something else. I don’t proclaim to be the authority on Cuba, because honestly I have only been to Havana, so feel free to experience Cuba for yourself and make up your own mind about this extraordinary country.

If you are planning on doing this, here are a few tips: As many people I met during my first day told me, Cuba is difficult. This means you have to pay everywhere in cash (and probably more than the local population, because they use a different currency -CUP for locals, CUC for foreigners-). Another thing to keep in mind is that you can usually only retrieve cash with a visa credit card (and not in many locations), so a MasterCard won’t always do (and other types of cards will definitely not work out for you). And last of my practical tips: there is no normal internet in Cuba, nor is it easy to call someone. The only way to access the internet is buying cards that give you access to a Wi-Fi network for one hour (the cost is 1 CUC). This entails that you can only use this internet in certain locations, and don’t be too optimistic, because this internet only lends for sending and receiving messages, if you want to download something, like a map (useful for someone like me who gets lost all the time) or a film, you’re out of luck. If you want to have something to do in the evening, you might consider bringing a nice book or downloading some films or series beforehand. Also: many things from the US, like certain apps on iphones (app store) are blocked because of the whole US government boycotting the Cuban economy, which in turn leads to mutual boycott-activity.

So, with that out of the way, it’s personal experience time. Let me begin by stating that I’m most probably very biased, because I have been having a wonderful time in Mexico with amazing people, and though I do not at all think that these countries are alike, it is a better reference I have than the Netherlands, mostly because of the fact that I am a foreigner in both, a completely different experience than being a local in my own country.

So my plan is to start with a tip, follow up with a top, and conclude with another tip.

Tip: I’ll just be honest and make a bold statement here: In general, I like the Mexican people I have met more than the Cuban people I have met. I know that from a research standpoint this claim does not hold water, because my test group in Cuba is waaay to small and my test group in Mexico is probably not very representative of the population as a whole, but if people found research more important than sentiments, current politics would look very differently. To make it a tiny bit researchy, i’ll present you with some numbers:

From the 7 Cubans I have had a decent conversation with in the first few days that goes further than the regular cat-calling or shouting ‘hola’ desperately in my general direction (I will get back to that), at least 4 wanted something from me. Two wanted me to take a picture of them, but considering that that is not a great effort and the fact that they were lovely people who gave me all kinds of tips on what I should do in Havana, I have not counted them as ‘wanting something from me’. 2 of them were probably single men who kept walking beside me, even though I made it clear in the beginning that I’d rather walk alone, of which 1 almost certainly wanted to get in my pants, and the other one perhaps if I had shown more interest, but he was sort of a chill dude in the end. 2 of them (a couple most likely) were nice, but when my friend and I left, they kept asking for money, probably faking a pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong, I get it, the Cuban population is generally extremely poor and is often unable to pay for basic needs like food, so I want to make it clear that I realize that I am in a very fortunate position, but in this case I am just sharing my experiences as a tourist without giving a value judgement of specific people.

I also got the sense that people are generally less happy and open than Mexicans, and again, I get their reasons, but just comparing the country to Mexico, a country where extreme poverty also exists, even people with very little means in Mexico usually seem to want to make the best of it and do not blame me for their misery and/or treat me as a despicable piece of crap because I am a tourist.

I feel like it also might be quite common for Cubans to not want to serve anyone who seems like a tourist. I went to the same bakery every day (the coffee was really good), but one lady who worked there did not want to serve me. After waiting for about 10 minutes because after she responded with ‘no’ to my order she straight on ignored me and helped other customers, I got a chance to ask her why she would not serve me, to which she replied that she did not have change. If she had told me that right away there would not have been any problem since I had the exact amount of money with me. Oh and also, seconds later she did miraculously have change for other customers. I would understand her behaviour had I been a complete dick the previous times, but I promise always behaved like a good gal (even though I myself was often treated like crap).

In short, in my experience and that most of the people I have talked to who have went to/ are in Cuba, if you’re a young female person alone or in the company of more young female persons, most Cubans who approach you will try to get into your pants (I will get back to that), and if you’re a guy, most Cubans might ask for money. In bars and restaurants mainly for locals (the ones with a reasonable price) you might not get served for the simple fact that you are foreign. Now keep in mind that this is in the reasonably touristic parts of town, I have heard from a male friend in Cuba that when he went to a non-touristic place, he was mostly left alone and actually met some very nice people (but this was not enough to convince him to stick to his plan of staying in Cuba for a month, so after hearing my stories of Mexico, he bought a ticket to this beautiful country within a week and I feel like he does not regret that decision one bit).

Top(s): the architecture in some places, mostly the touristic ones, is beautiful and has a one-of-a-kind vibe to it. Havana’s old town is full of colonial style buildings in summery colours, which is probably the reason why it attracts so many tourists. I’ve also heard that Cuba has some of the world’s most beautiful beaches, but since I’m not a beach-person, you should trust the internet or other people instead of me. I have only been to one ‘beach’, but I should have looked into that one more. I honestly just saw that it was a public beach on google maps and asked the owner of the hostel how to get there, assuming she would let me know if this was the most unrecommendable place in all of Havana. Turns out she did not see it that way, and I ended up dragging my friend to a heap of sand of about 70m2 full of broken glass and other garbage in a shabby place behind a building you could rent for events (I wouldn’t recommend that either), but officially this was the public beach of western Havana. In the end we ended up discussing for 10 minutes with a vendor of fruits because he did not get (or want to get) that we did not want a whole bucket of his strange oranges, but just a few for on the road (I was okay with paying for the bucket, I just did not want to drag a kilo of bitter oranges I was never going to eat with me in the bus), so he just told us repeatedly that our Spanish was insufficient instead of taking the money and not be a dick about it, and after this we took the bus back to the hostel. If you want to go to a nice beach nearby Havana, you could go to Varadero, many people have told me it’s beautiful there.

Tip: So now the long awaited rant on many Cuban males I have been ‘in contact’ with. Soo, for some reason catcalling is just as normalised as breathing in Cuba. Maybe they mean well, but this honestly made me permanently feel very shitty during my stay here. If you think I’m a drama queen for using the term ‘permanently’, consider the fact that I’m not at all exaggerating when I say I was being catcalled about every 10 seconds when I was not accompanied by a guy. The usual was ‘just’ making kissing noises at me or shouting ‘hi’ in my face like their life depended on it, but occasionally they would keep walking beside me until I was in the hostel even though I was clearly not into that (the fact that they now knew where I was staying honestly made me feel uncomfortable, but I did not really know what else to do in order to shake them off) or shamelessly taking pictures of me, while responding ‘you pretty’ (in Spanish) when I said something similar to ‘what the fuck dude, delete that’ (in Spanish). I have honestly never felt so inhuman before in my life, with almost all young men treating me like an object. This may be a cultural thing and not meant to make you feel bad, but as a Dutch person who has grown up in an entirely different culture, it did make me feel worthless. Those of you who know me well might know that I love to socialize and meet new people, but in Havana a great day was one in which I was mostly left alone (my friend who decided to come to Mexico definitely shares this sentiment). My tip for young(ish) gals out there: If you don’t want to be catcalled every few seconds by Cuban men, make sure to wear a boyfriend, or someone who looks the part. The last few days I hung out with a male friend and besides from getting intense looks (so intense that my friend felt extremely uncomfortable in my place) I was left alone and actually felt like a human being with emotions and experiences again.

In short:

Do I want to go back? No ……

Was it a worthwhile experience? I guess it was, mostly because it greatly renewed my appreciation for Mexico and its people, I am now enjoying every pleasant human interaction (which occurs almost as often as the catcalling in Havana did). I almost got used to the amazing warmth and openness of Mexican people before going to Cuba, but now I take the time to appreciate it and reflect on the fact that I’m extremely fortunate to be able to experience this and to have met so many amazing people who will always have a special place in my heart.

Introductory post

Dear reader,

As you may know I’ll be spending the upcoming semester in Mexico. To keep those of you who want to updated and to share my experiences on the other side of the world, I have created this blog, which helps me avoid social platforms like Facebook (which are not great advocates of data rights –I watched a documentary on this topic, sorry if I come across as paranoid-). Another advantage of not using social platforms is that I don’t have to annoy people who are not interested in my posts.

Now you might ask: Why a blog? Nobody writes or reads blogs anymore, just share your holyday-pictures on Instagram and be done with it. Well… first of all, I’m not a great photographer, neither am I in possession of a camera and secondly, I like to write, so if my mother will be the only one who reads this, so be it, she likes to be kept informed of my comings and goings and writing has a therapeutic effect on me anyway.

So there you go, I created this blog (without any experience, so we’ll see how that goes) and hope you’ll enjoy reading the posts on here.

PS: I’m not a native speaker of the English language, so errors in my usage of the language can and will occur, I hope you won’t judge me for that, at least I try.